With Love, Bets

About Bets

Hello! I am With Love, Bets. An Advocate, Cultural Commentator and Speaker.

In 2026 I founded Drink Safety Standard UK, a national campaign calling on the UK Government to amend the Licensing Act 2003 to make anti-spiking drink covers a mandatory licence condition for every venue serving open drinks in England and Wales, free and on request. I am excited to be using social media to bring this topic to the forefront using cultural commentary to demonstrate the risks, teach people how to stay safe and build a community that are ready for this overdue change to the law.

I am also the creator of The RESET Framework. Built from my own experience of surviving domestic abuse, it is a four-talk model for women rebuilding after crisis, helping them step outside the expectations they have been socialised to accept and consciously recalibrate the way they approach identity, relationships and self-protection. I deliver the framework as talks for corporate, cultural and educational audiences.

I started saying online what too few people were saying out loud and the response was immediate. Women had been waiting for someone to name what they already felt and the community that built around that does not passively scroll. It shares, it challenges and it acts. That engagement is what turned my cultural commentary into advocacy.

Today I am happily remarried and a stepmother to two preteen girls. I am DBS certified. I speak from experience, not theory. My tone is direct and grounded. My work is for organisations and platforms that take women's safety, empowerment and cultural progress seriously.

The Anti-Spiking Petition (DSSUK)

Live Count

Threshold reached. Parliamentary debate triggered.

Signatures to Go

until drink covers land on the government's desk

Sign the Petition

Proud to Celebrate World Anti-Spiking Day (July 15) with these amazing organisations.

The problem

Spiking is one of the easiest crimes in this country to commit and one of the hardest to hold anyone accountable for.

Until April 2026, spiking wasn't even a specific criminal offence in the UK.
More than 1 in 10 UK adults have been spiked at some point in their lives.
More than half of those affected are aged between 18 and 25.
Women are the majority of victims but they are not the only ones.
Around 4 in 10 victims are men.
LGBTQ+ adults are affected most of all, with 18% having been spiked compared to 11% of cis heterosexual adults.
1 in 6 victims are sexually assaulted as a result.
60% of survivors experienced disbelief or victim blaming when they came forward.
For almost a quarter of them, that response came from the police or emergency services.

What I'm doing to change it

This led me to launch the Drink Safety Standard UK, a petition (and a movement) calling on the UK Government to amend the Licensing Act 2003 so that the provision of free anti-spiking drink covers become a mandatory licence condition for every venue serving open drinks in England and Wales.

The solution is deliberately simple. Drink covers are low cost. They are widely available. They work in the most straightforward way there is: a physical barrier over the glass that stops anything from being added. Venues are not the enemy here. They are the first line of defence. Most genuinely want to do right by the people who walk through their doors. What they need is a clear and consistent standard to meet, with the backing of law to make it stick.

I want to help by introducing a legal backed preventative measure that helps to close a gap in the system that allows spiking to happen in the first place.

DSSUK has partnered with BevGARDien, a British made anti-spiking drink cover system built for hospitality. Their covers seal the glass completely so nothing can be added, are fully tamper-evident and carry a QR code that links straight to venue safety guidance. Each one is single use, simple to apply and designed to be kind to the planet. BevGARDien is accredited by Police Secured by Design, part of Best Bar None and an official NUS supplier partner.

Swipe, or tap the arrows, to view one slide at a time

"They can ignore me. But they can't ignore us."

Who I'm changing it with

I am excited to be building this in conversation with academic researchers, forensic psychologists, MPs and partners across hospitality, women's safety and public health. Closest to my heart, are my charity partners Spike Aware UK. They're a national charity dedicated entirely to spiking in all its forms. Since 2017 they have worked to raise awareness, prevent incidents and support victims of every gender and age. They offer both practical guidance and real understanding at the moment it is needed most. Partnering with Spike Aware UK keeps the people at the heart of this campaign, never just the numbers.

Change to the law does not happen on its own. It happens when enough people decide that the way things are is no longer acceptable. That is where I need you. Please sign and share the petition. It takes less than a minute. It is the single most powerful thing you can do to help because they can ignore me but they can't ignore us.

Download the verified UK spiking statistics →

Keynote Speaker: The RESET Framework

The RESET Framework is a structured model for understanding how the beliefs women hold about love, marriage, safety and success were shaped, and how those patterns quietly decide what they accept in relationships and in life. Its four pillars are identity, standards, instincts and conditioning. I built it from my own experience of surviving domestic abuse and it works as powerfully for women rebuilding after crisis as it does for any woman examining her defaults.

With Love, Bets — full-length portrait in a pink dress, holding a microphone

01

Identity

Who you are, separate from who you were taught to be.

The Rebrand: Surviving Abuse and Rebuilding Your Life

The psychology of starting over, why the first decision after crisis is the hardest, and how to succeed without permission.

The World Health Organization estimates that nearly one in three women globally — around 840 million — have experienced partner or sexual violence in their lifetime, a figure that has barely changed in two decades (UN Women). Yet many women are not taught how abusive relationships develop while they are unfolding, how to recognise early coercion or control, or how to identify when a relationship has crossed from difficult into harmful.

Drawing on her lived experience of surviving domestic abuse in her first marriage, Bets shares how she made the deliberate decision not just to heal but to rebuild differently. This keynote reframes heartbreak as a turning point, centring resilience, discernment and disciplined self-respect.

Key Themes

Recognising and breaking unhealthy relationship cycles
Rebuilding confidence and identity after abuse
Finding healthy love after heartbreak

02

Standards

What you accept, expect and refuse, in relationships and in life.

Rethinking the Marriage Timeline: Singleness Is Not a Curse

Boundary-setting as a structural practice, not an emotional reaction. Why most advice on boundaries fails women in high-pressure environments.

Office for National Statistics data shows that the median age at marriage for women in England and Wales has risen to 33, up from the early twenties in 1980. The marriage rate for women has fallen by more than 70% since 1972 (ONS). The timeline has moved. The social, religious and family pressure on women to partner early has not.

Bets speaks candidly about the social, religious and family pressure that pushes women into relationships that fundamentally alter the course of their lives. She challenges the assumption that singleness is a failure, and the lack of honest conversation about what marriage actually requires.

Key Themes

The myth that relationships automatically equal happiness
Why outcome-focused courtship often backfires
How to choose partnership from strength, not scarcity

03

Instincts

The signals you were trained to override, and how to trust them again.

Women's Safety: The Cost of Ignoring Your Instincts in Dating

Who you trust, why you override your own judgement, and how to rebuild the internal signals that keep you safe.

UN Women UK research found that only 3% of women aged 18 to 24 in the UK had not experienced some form of harassment or unwanted behaviour from men — the other 97% had (UN Women UK, Safe Spaces Now). Office for National Statistics data shows that more than half of women in Great Britain regularly avoid being out at certain times to reduce the risk of harassment or sexual assault (ONS, 2022).

Bets examines how loneliness, social expectation and fear of being single push women to override their instincts, soften necessary boundaries and tolerate behaviour that feels wrong. She challenges the idea that being chosen is a success if the relationship itself feels unsafe or misaligned.

Key Themes

Why women minimise red flags to avoid conflict
The cost of choosing image over reality
How to rebuild trust in your own instincts

04

Conditioning

The cultural messages shaping how you see yourself and your options.

Challenging Gender Expectations: Raising Girls Who Refuse to Shrink

How early messaging shapes what women tolerate in adulthood, and how to challenge the expectations that limit decision-making and self-worth.

Girlguiding's Girls' Attitudes Survey found that 69% of girls aged 7 to 10 in the UK feel they are expected to behave or think differently to boys their age, up from 59% a decade earlier. By ages 11 to 21, 85% of girls report experiencing sexism in their daily lives and 47% say it makes them feel less safe — more than double the 17% reported ten years ago (Girlguiding, Girls' Attitudes Survey 2024).

As a stepmother to two girls, Bets explores the messages girls receive from a young age, and how they follow women into adulthood, shaping ambitions, expectations and ideas of success. This talk calls for modelling strong standards and challenging gender-based double standards where they appear.

Key Themes

How gender expectations show up early
Why self-respect must be taught before romance
Equipping the next generation to think critically about gender

"Rather than presenting empowerment as a vague concept, The RESET Framework provides a structured way for women to interrogate the assumptions they have been taught about relationships and rebuild their decision-making from a place of clarity, discernment and autonomy."

— The RESET Framework

Book Bets to Speak

I'm available for keynotes, panels, fireside chats, university talks, media and advisory work across women's safety, empowerment, leadership, culture and modern relationships. Talks can centre on The RESET Framework, the Drink Safety Standard UK campaign, or another subject suited to your audience and are always tailored to your sector and setting. I respond within 48 hours.

With Love, Bets — full-length portrait in a sage green blazer and white dress

Beyond The RESET Framework, I speak on a wide range of topics, including the Drink Safety Standard UK campaign, and can shape a talk to your theme.

Keynote Addresses

High-impact keynotes on surviving domestic abuse, rebuilding identity after adversity, and how social conditioning shapes the way women approach relationships, safety and self-respect.
Panel Discussions and Cultural Commentary

Grounded contributions on modern relationships, gender expectations, women's safety and cultural narratives around marriage and partnership.
Moderated Conversations and Fireside Chats

Open-stage conversations on rebuilding after adversity, navigating social pressure around relationships and protecting autonomy within partnership.
University and Educational Talks

Lectures and open dialogue on early gender messaging, dating culture and the tools young women need to make safer, more informed relationship decisions.
Media and Radio Appearances

Clear, engaging commentary on dating trends, gender dynamics, marriage narratives and the cultural pressures shaping modern relationships.
Roundtables and Advisory Contributions

Strategic contributions to discussions on women's wellbeing, relationship culture and preventative approaches to safety and empowerment.

Send an Enquiry

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With Love, Bets

About Bets

The Anti-Spiking Petition (DSSUK)

The problem

What I'm doing to change it

Who I'm changing it with

Petition to Policy: follow the journey

Keynote Speaker: The RESET Framework

The Rebrand: Surviving Abuse and Rebuilding Your Life

Rethinking the Marriage Timeline: Singleness Is Not a Curse

Women's Safety: The Cost of Ignoring Your Instincts in Dating

Challenging Gender Expectations: Raising Girls Who Refuse to Shrink

Book Bets to Speak